How Overthinking Can Affect your Love Life?

How Overthinking Can Affect your Love Life?

Are you in love and feeling high? It all starts with butterflies in the stomach. Everything seems beautiful and the sky seems purple through the rose-tinted glasses of love. The vivid thoughts about your special one never subsides even for a second, no matter whatever you do they are always running at the back of your mind. Your heart beats faster than ever with every phone call or text from your better half. Oh so, you are in love! But are you overthinking in love?

Now you have found the one and you want to spend the rest of your life with this person, a feeling that can be absolutely nerve-wrecking. You want to do everything right that would take you one step closer to your exciting destination each day, and you wish to make this journey of love worthwhile for both of you and don’t want to jinx it at all. In a quest to seek a long haul relationship, most of us get so inundated with our feelings and emotions that we start overthinking in a relationship and over-analyzing almost everything.

We all are overthinkers on some days at some point of life, which is ok as long as it doesn’t take a form of habit and dominates our life. In contrast, when one is regularly overthinking in a relationship, it tends to become a serious problem which can also be threatening to the relationship. An overthinker is likely to assume things in the mind that haven’t happened yet, these things seem more complicated to them than they actually are and they take actions based on these suppositions and thus make poor decisions.

So, Why do People Overthink In a Relationship?

How Overthinking Can Affect your Love Life

Overthinking in a relationship is the repercussion of a person’s bad experiences and hurts that they have undergone in the past – either in previous relationships or the current one. They become extra cautious whenever they face a relatable situation which has resulted in hurt or emotional trauma in the past. Overthinking is their way to cope with the fear of hurt (potential hurt) that comes along with trusting someone or the situation.

Can Overthinking Self-sabotage One’s Relationship?

Overthinkers sometimes react impulsively in a fit of emotions which they regret later. In relationships, they keep fretting about one thing or the other, which could be anything about their partner, the status of their relationship, the pace at which it is moving, the things that were said or not said or why said, etc, and this way they cram their minds and lose their peace. Overthinking in a relationship is something many people find hard to control, despite how hard they want to stop worrying and calm their mind.

Coming to the point, how overthinking can affect your relationship?

1. The Problem of “What If?”

Overthinking usually happens in the negative way. You may not overthink about good things happening in your life, but when something, even trivial, happens off the track or as an element of surprise in your relationship, it works as a trigger to slip you into the “what if” scenario. What if it doesn’t work out, what if she is lying, what if his friends don’t like me, what if I say no, etc. You try to assume the negative side of things that might not even come up in the future.  All this further prevents you from being the best version of yourself and affects the quality of your relationship.

2. You are Not Focused in the Present

With overthinking, you may not enjoy the moments that are there on offer because your mind is busier in over analyzing which is killing the joy of dating. Other times you are worried about the future by having “what ifs”. You are not able to reap the goodness of this relationship if you are always at unease.

3. The Suffering “Connection”

Your tendency to keep thinking about one thing or the other may become mentally draining and tiring to you and you start to feel low, but you tell yourself that you are doing all this to make this relationship work and to keep your partner happy, right? Ever thought how is it going to help? Overthinking really affects your mood which may quickly and rapidly switch giving you mood swings; you are feeling.

4. Always Ready with Conclusions

When you overthink, most of the time you make up things in your mind, usually negative. You cannot wait for the situation to uncover itself over the course of time but you can help to jump to conclusions and you may pick up a fight with your partner. This may upset your partner as they would feel misunderstood. This can also question your ability to trust them.

Overthinking in a relationship happens with many of us. It’s all because we love the other person and are too scared to lose them. Emotions are understandable but how practical approach it is to overthink, what benefit would it do to you? It restricts you from enjoying your relationship to its full potential and brings in lots of uneasy moments between you too. Overthinking does no good. Just step back and relax, and let things unfold naturally.

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